A real woman could stop you from drinking.
Susan
You're a hooker? Jesus, I forgot! I just thought I was doing GREAT with you!
Arthur
All I can tell you is, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had.
Arthur
Thank you for a memorable afternoon, usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature.
Hobson
Yes, imagine how wonderful a girl who bathes would be. Get dressed.
Hobson
I race cars, play tennis, and fondle women, BUT! I have weekends off, and I am my own boss.
Arthur
If you and your undershirt will walk two paces backwards, I could enter this dwelling.
Hobson
Yes, I see no reason for prolonging this conversation, unless you're planning to knock over a fruit stand later in the evening.
Hobson
Why don't you forget the moose for a moment!
Burt Johnson
They recently had the whole country carpeted. This is *not* a big place.
Arthur
I've never taken care of anybody. Everybody's always taken care of me. But if you got sick, or anything, I'd take care of you.
Arthur
Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Maybe some of us drink because we're not poets.
Arthur
Isn't this fun? Isn't fun the best thing to have? Don't you wish you were me? I know I do.
Arthur
He gets all that money. Pays his family back by... by... by bein' a stinkin' drunk. It's enough ta make ya sick.
Executive
Hobson, do you know the worst part, the WORST part of being me?
Arthur